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Inner Resourcing - Finding Calm & Soothing Yourself

Your Inner Resource is a refuge you can turn to should you be in need of finding calm,

soothing yourself or connecting to a place of ease within.

As Richard Millar (the founder of iRest Meditation) says -

“We can rest here until we have regained a sense of safety, security and confidence. We can then take this feeling back with us into our lives”.

Finding your Inner Resource can be tricky.

It can sometimes be challenging to identify and it may take time to evolve. The more we develop our Inner Resource the more powerful it becomes. It may begin as an image which we then enhance by developing our sensory response to this image.

For example: How does it feel in your body when you think about this image/memory or idea? Are there sounds? Smells? What are the emotions you feel when you think about it? How else could you develop and strengthen your experience of this Inner Resource?

The more strongly you can relate, imagine or interact with your Inner Resource the more

powerful it can become. In time it becomes a touchstone or reservoir of peace, equanimity,

calm, wellbeing and ease which you can call upon should you need it.

When we find ourselves overwhelmed, confused, anxious or triggered we can practice

remembering our Inner Resource and the feelings it evokes in us. This can help us to

‘state-shift’ and regain a sense of strength, autonomy, presence and groundedness. Your

Inner Resource can help you find ways to develop a helpful relationship to your emotions and


At first we need to take time to remember our Inner Resource, practice developing it,

strengthening it and embodying it as a felt and known state within us. In time our Inner

Resource ‘remembers us’ and we need do very little to know how to rebalance ourselves when

we find ourselves off kilter. Our Inner Resource simply becomes part of us.

The more time you dedicate to nourishing and developing your Inner Resource the easier it

will be to connect to the feelings it brings when you need them most. Eventually the images

and sensory information you used to recall your Inner Resource may no longer be necessary,

you may simply have embodied your own unique experience of ease, wellbeing, strength, calm,

groundedness (or whatever your Inner Resource evokes). With practice these feelings become

familiar to you, they become yours, they are there for you to call on when you need them.

In time your Inner Resource can become a felt-sense that helps you feel calm and in control

of what you are experiencing. Enabling you to be present to what is happening. It can help

you find the space you need to choose how to respond to a situation. It can help you

remember the parts of you that know how to find calm and ground and it can support you to

remember that, even though this moment may be hard, there will be other moments that won’t

be. Your Inner Resource can bring hope, support and peace.

The more we connect to our Inner Resource the stronger the neural pathways (in our brains)

become and the easier it becomes for our minds to know peace and ease. If we have

experienced a time in our past where we have not been ok or have felt unsafe or in pain it

may take time to create new neural pathways that lead to new possibilities for other ways of

feeling and being. Your Inner Resource can help with this.

In time your Inner Resource becomes about connecting to the part of your nature that is

unchanging and uninfluenced by the always changing circumstances around you.

If you have experienced adversity it can take time to uncover and remember this part of your nature, and to trust it will not leave you again.

A helpful approach to finding and developing your Inner Resource can be to start with curiosity, exploration and inquiry. Perhaps asking questions similar to:

● What do I really enjoy doing?

● Why do I enjoy it so much?

● What does it feel like in my body when I think about it?

● Do I have a memory that makes me feel loved/safe/secure/calm/welcome/easeful/at


● Can I recreate that memory and feel as though I am there right now?

● If I was to imagine a place where I feel truly at ease what would that look and feel like?

● How do I know these feelings in my body?

Some examples of Inner Resources others have found useful:

● Being in a beautiful place in nature where you feel peaceful. Perhaps a meadow of

flowers, beside a cool pool of water, near the ocean or in a lush forest.

● Being in the room or house where you felt most at ease in your life, surrounded by your

most cherished things.

● The memory of a person or animal you felt loved , cared about or accepted by.

Remembering yourself with this person or animal. Possibly recreating an image in your

mind of being together.

● Visualising or connecting with a symbol, archetype, image or object that brings feelings

of wellbeing, safety and security for you.

Perhaps over the coming weeks you may choose to spend time considering what your Inner

Resource may be. You don't have to come up with anything concrete and you don’t have to

choose only one, as you may have several. However, it can be helpful to spend time developing

them one at a time to see which feels most useful for you.

You might like to download this page as a PDF so that you can access it offline. Here is a link for this special freebie.

Inner Resourcing BIYB
Download PDF • 51KB


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