Navigating Life Transitions: Embracing the Messy Middle of Life

They say life is a journey, not a destination.

Lately, mine has not necessarily been the smooth, predictable, curving path I had anticipated, but rather, a journey marked with seemingly endless stretches of bumpy track, sudden drops, and unexpected loops. Feeling more like a rollercoaster careening through unexpected terrain, not quite the journey I had planned for, but a messy middle that's forcing me to adapt, adjust, and ultimately, embrace the unexpected.

You’re Not Alone: Normalising When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan

The catalyst for this unexpected shift in my life journey has been a series of recent health diagnoses. Thankfully, these conditions aren't life-threatening, but they do require adjustments to my lifestyle and the way I’m showing up in the world. Coupled with the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause, it feels like navigating the perfect storm. The year 2025, which I had envisioned as one of thriving and expansion, has instead become a year of unexpected challenges and deep recalibration. It's been a reminder that life rarely unfolds as planned.

Collective Challenges - Are We All in a Season of Change?

It's not just me, though. As I talk to friends, family, and colleagues, I'm struck by the number of people facing similar headwinds. Health challenges seem to be the norm, with unexpected illnesses and chronic conditions cropping up at an alarming regularity. Relationships are shifting and changing, sometimes smoothly, sometimes painfully. Financial anxieties run deep, creating stress and uncertainty and major life transitions—children leaving home, career changes, moving to new places—are disrupting routines and forcing adaptations. It's as if we're collectively navigating a period of significant upheaval, a shared experience of uncertainty and change.

Is this the natural ebb and flow of life? The inevitable challenges that come with age and the accumulation of experiences? Is it the lingering effects of a post-pandemic world, a collective exhaustion that’s manifesting in unexpected ways? Or perhaps it's a myriad of factors—age, stress, societal pressures—all converging to create this sense of collective unease. Whatever it is, it's a question I've been pondering, and a puzzle I'm still trying to piece together.

The Struggle to Find Joy When Life Looks "Good" on Paper

Something I have found particularly striking is the unexpected struggle to access joy and contentment. On paper, my life looks amazing: a loving family, amazing friends, work I'm passionate about, and intellectually stimulating studies. Yet, beneath the surface, there's a persistent undercurrent of sadness, a sense of loneliness, and a struggle to connect with the joy that should, by all accounts, be abundant. I find myself questioning this unexpected dissonance, wondering how a life filled with so many blessings can simultaneously feel so heavy at times.

Learning to Listen: What My Body and Mind Are Telling Me

I suspect the hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause are playing a significant role. The shifting tides of hormones are impacting my moods, my energy levels, and my overall perspective. There are days when even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, and the world seems to be shrouded in a grey fog of fatigue and uncertainty. It's a stark reminder that our inner world can experience its own unique storms, regardless of the external circumstances.

So, I'm writing this not as someone who has the answers, but as someone who's navigating the waves. I'm sharing my challenges, not as a sign of weakness, but as an act of connection. This messy middle, with its unexpected challenges and emotional complexities, is a shared experience—a reminder that it's okay not to be okay, and it's okay to feel lost and uncertain, even when life appears to be "great" on the outside.

The Power of Rest and Saying No When Navigating Life Transitions

I'm learning to embrace this journey, listening to my body’s wisdom, honouring my emotions, and practising self-compassion. I'm discovering that true resilience isn’t about avoiding the storms, but about navigating them with grace and self-acceptance. Turning this messy middle into a time for quiet reflection and embracing the beauty of imperfection with gentle self-care.

For many years, I've thrived on a fast-paced life, fueled by a seemingly endless supply of energy and a passion for doing it all. I've always possessed a remarkable capacity to juggle multiple commitments, wearing busyness as a badge of honour. However, the transition into perimenopause has brought forth the confronting realisation that my energy levels are no longer what they once were. This profound shift has been both challenging and humbling. It's forced me to confront my old habits and acknowledge that my body is sending clear signals that things must change. Even with my overflowing tool belt of skills and strategies, I still find myself falling prey to the old patterns of overcommitment. The whispers of exhaustion are now shouts, and my body’s wisdom demands attention.

The Dream of Simplicity: Tiny Homes and Big Feelings

On some days, the fantasy of a radical life change is incredibly alluring. I dream of packing my bags and trading the complexities of city life for the simplicity of a tiny home in the country, filling my days with tending to chickens, and painting watercolours while sipping cups of herbal tea sourced from my own gardens. It all sounds utterly divine, doesn't it? A vision of peace and contentment - but the reality is this idyllic dream is still some distance away.

Small Shifts for Sustainable Change

For now, I'm focusing on laying the foundations for a gentler, more sustainable life, something which involves making lots of conscious choices like learning to say no, acknowledging that things take longer than I initially anticipate, and accepting that admin is an unavoidable part of life. These seemingly small adjustments have brought more balance into how I plan my days, creating space for rest, reflection, and genuine connection. My hope is to learn to reliably embrace imperfection and the value of simply being.

My recent trip to Bali was more than just another retreat - it was a beautiful opportunity to step away from the demands of daily life. It allowed my body and brain to take a break, opening space for me to consider the intentions and actions needed to recalibrate my relationship with my energy and refine my vision for a more balanced life. A chance for me to gain clarity about my health and wellness goals for the remainder of the year and beyond while playfully exploring all the different ways we can honour our needs in both rest and fun.

Finding Connection in the Messy Middle

If you're also navigating a bumpy year or facing a significant life transition, please know you're not alone. We all carry unique challenges, even when things might appear to be going well on the surface. This is a shared human experience, a very human reality, and a reminder that it’s okay to feel lost or overwhelmed or lonely at times. If this resonates with you, feel free to share with someone else going through a messy middle too. May we find strength and resilience in our shared journey, embracing the beauty of imperfection along the way, and may we discover new strength and a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life.

With deep love,

Jessica